party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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