guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
