i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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