I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
