I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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