I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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