im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
