in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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