I smell stomach acid.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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