oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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