new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
