Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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