Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
