I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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