just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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