Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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