He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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