Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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