omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How external is "for external use only"?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
