the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
