I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
