I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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