Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
