4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
