she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
