i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
