some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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