Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
