I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Boobs are out for the taking
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize