there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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