if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
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My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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