talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
