ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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