he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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