yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
