you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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