from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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