butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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