things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize