What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
