i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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