How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
