It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
even my farts smell like vagina
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
