so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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