Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize