im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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