I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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