oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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