What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
