My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
