You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dick very happy bro
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
