I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize