if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
