We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
