i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
