anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
