There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
