oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
