I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
