we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
