Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
