WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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