so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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