I want to make a zoo with you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
