____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize