I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
