i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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